4 months

well its almost been 4 months since we break up... and I still feel like I want to cry :( sometimes I do when I try and sleep I just lay there thinking about it..... I can honestly say he is my first love.... his sweet kisses use to send me to the moon and back...oh how I miss them days.... I miss his parents to I really liked them they were so kind to me..... sigh... I wash we could work things out..... a year and 3 months come on... we did not fight or anything...... I wish we could have talked this out....or if u really wanted me to play games with him like wow I would have.... I would do just about anything for him.....hes a sweet guy simple and I like that about him....... hes a guy u can trust........ i still get uneasy feeling in my stomach when we talk....... the same feeling I had the first day I saw him.......


honestly I wish we would get back together... but hes got this pride its like hes jealous of me working... and me spending money to see him.... that is what people do......he feels so low of him self.... he says I want the American dream..... honestly not sure if I want kids..... its a big task... all be happy if I have a roof over my head and im in a safe area......... I was trying to tell him that I would live in a trailer park if that was in store for us.......I love ray that much....... he don't understand that....... honestly I would have moved there for him I would have tried so hard.... because I hate being a way from him.....and I miss pinching his cute nipps or hanging on his back while he played wow..... I just wish a second chance was in store for us??????





so anyways here is a NEW poem that I made the other day...



i strode right to the ends of this earth and here i will stay.
frozen. betrayed.
my life shattered like broken ice.
my body numb like in the dead of winter.

i cant feel much, but when i do
i dedicate my hate you.

i dwell beneath the snow and i tunnel to the darkened, cold waters.
Hell knows better than to step in my path.

My heart will never melt because of you.
And everyday my eyes grow colder and my limbs begin to snap.
but never will i fall

this white world is mine.
my frozen kingdom shines.
it called my name and i answered.
forever, here ill stay.

frozen. betrayed.