what's left of my soul

The last few months have been real hard for me....trying to deal with many things going on inside......I let it go too far this time.... cover it up with a smile and act like nothing is wrong but eat away inside...... well my mom just up and left we don't know where she is......we see her around town every now and then but she has no desire to see how the family is doing...she could care less....then my bf who I love so much and would do anything for tells me its over out of no where......and is really shot and don't give much reason why...... which left to think... I just try so hard and feel like no one cares or even gives a dam about me..... just wish this feeling would go away.... and I could not deal with it anymore.... no matter how many miles I run or how many weights i life or things I buy its always about him....... I am always thinking was it me did I love to much not enough... so I end up taking about 8000MG of pain pills and went to sleep.....my dad found me and rush me to kaiser..... I had my stomach pumped and had to talk with the nurse from the mental heath ward at kaiser on the 6th floor...... I just cried and cried so hard and told her why........all the things just came out....... and no matter how hard I try it is never good enough....... guys don't like me cuz im a bit chubby.. or have some reason not to like me... or want some fucking model type what about the sweet romantic type.... don't they count.... so she gave me some advise... and wants me to meet with her at least 3 more times..... as a fallow up........

my family is so upset that I could do something so stupid over a guy that dump me for reasons unexplained